Rev Coles: Never Worried About Being Gay

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Post on Nov 27, 2024

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Rev. Coles: Never Worried About Being Gay

Hey everyone, Pastor Mike here. I wanted to share a story, something personal, about faith, acceptance, and, well, me. It's about something I rarely talk about publicly, but it feels right to share now. This is about my journey, my personal journey, of being openly gay and a minister.

My Coming Out Story (Sort Of)

Look, I wasn't exactly hiding in the closet. I mean, some people think being a "closeted gay minister" is a thing. But my experience was different. It wasn't a dramatic, "coming out" moment like you see in the movies. More like…a gradual realization, a slow dawning. I always knew, you know? It wasn't something I actively wrestled with, at least not in the traditional sense. My sexuality never felt like a problem.

I guess I was lucky. My family was (and is) incredibly supportive. My faith was, too. I never felt the pressure to conform, to pretend. This isn't to say it was easy – there were awkward moments, misunderstandings. But overall, it was relatively smooth sailing.

One time, though, in seminary—this was back in the early 2000s—a classmate asked me in a casual way if I had a girlfriend. This was before coming out, even to close friends, and I just kind of stammered, made up an excuse. I felt a pang of guilt, of hiding a part of myself. That was the closest I came to a major struggle. That's when I knew I needed to be more upfront with the important people in my life.

Faith and Sexuality: Not Mutually Exclusive

For me, faith and being gay have always coexisted peacefully. This is something I try to convey to my congregation. They're incredibly accepting and supportive, thankfully. But I know that's not everyone's experience. And, let's be honest, the history of the church and LGBTQ+ people is… complicated. There's a lot of hurt, and a lot of work to be done.

The scripture, often used to condemn homosexuality, is complex and open to different interpretations. I believe the core message of Christianity is love, compassion, and acceptance. That's what guides me. That's what I try to embody in my sermons and in my life. My own personal struggles and victories help guide my ministry.

Advice for Others

If you're struggling with your faith and your sexuality, please know you're not alone. There are resources available, communities that will support you. Don't be afraid to seek help.

Here are a few things I wish I'd known earlier:

• Find your community: Connecting with other LGBTQ+ Christians was invaluable for me. It helped me feel less isolated and more confident in my identity.
• Your faith journey is personal: Don’t let others dictate your relationship with God. You can be a devout Christian and still be gay. It’s really that simple.
• Don't rush the process: Coming to terms with your sexuality takes time. Don't compare your journey to others. It’s perfectly okay to take it one step at a time.

I know this is a sensitive topic, but it's important to be open and honest. The more we talk about it, the less stigma there will be. And the more love and acceptance we can spread. Remember, you are loved. You are accepted. You are valued. And your journey, however unique, is valid.

Feel free to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. Let's build a more inclusive and accepting community, together. Peace out!